We Could All Use a Little Vex Ed

The scrap of toasted coconut wedged itself on the backside of my lower set of teeth. Perhaps it means I should chew more thoroughly. Instead, I am blaming this new occurrence on the thing that is to blame for all that vexes me. Aging.

Since my late 40s I have been half-heartedly chronicling (mostly in my head) "the things they don't tell you about getting old." THIS is one of them.

Food gets stuck in your teeth. I mean, not just corn when eaten off the cob, we're talking bits of nearly meal and snack, every day. I am finally driven to alert you, my friends, because this is a wholly new development over the past 5-6 weeks. The backside! No ordinary use of a toothpick works. A mirror, a wide-open mouth, and some serious toothpick gymnastics is required to free the aggravating leftover golden toasted coconut that topped a bowl of yogurt and berries.

Not entirely sure who the "they" are that were supposed to warn us of these strange changes. Perhaps we were told! By parents, grandparents, beloved aunties, revered co-workers nearing retirement. But, we were not enlightened enough to listen. It's a safe bet none of the younger folk we are grousing to about the sore knees, the desire to tuck into bed at 8:00 pm, the relentlessly developing arm flaps no matter how much we workout, are listening either.

If I had any entrepreneurial spirit or leanings toward political activism at all, I would develop a class required at age 45. No driver's license renewal until completion of the class. A kind of how-to-get-old safely. Along the lines of sex ed in 8th grade. I'd call it Vex Ed: How to Navigate the Vexing Truth About Aging.

Gen Xers who have reached their 50s can take the class as an elective. After all, we've got half our lives ahead of us!!