In the shadow of Half Dome, in Yellowstone National Park, the Monroe boys and I plucked rocks from the shore and competed to see who could throw their stones the farthest across the lake. Mike was a year older than the other two of us, and a high school baseball player. Brian and I would start high school at the end of the summer and take up several sports each. We traveled to northern California with our church youth group.
The sunny afternoon lives as one of my favorite memories because after we tossed three or four rocks, Mike paused to say something along the lines of, "Wow, you don't throw like a girl!"
I understood what he meant and beamed with pride that he noticed my arm motion was fluid and circular. Girls, it seemed, often threw a baseball, softball, or football with a jerky, sideways kind of toss that looked as if they couldn't quite lift the ball back, around, and over their shoulder.
Several decades later now, I wonder why I am still proud to NOT throw like a girl. If she gets the ball from her glove to the next player's glove, who cares what her body looks like doing it? Perhaps it has something to do with my beloved baseball being so identified with male athletes. It's just not a sport that women play after they are about 12. Yet we flock to the ballparks to cheer on our teams whether local kids or Major Leaguers. We love the game that only guys play. Therefore, if I play it like one of the guys, cool!
A friend noted recently that she was so proud of the first toy her 4 year old daughter bought with her own money. A Matchbox car. A speedy little blue convertible with white racing stripes. I haven't yet told her that I have the same exact car! Received it as a gift several Christmases ago.
I didn't fit gender stereotypes as a kid, yet I knew that girls were expected to do and be certain things. I reveled in Mike's comment because it was legitimizing my choice to play baseball instead of softball. Today, when students or co-workers visiting my office exclaim happily about my car collection, LEGO models, and Star Wars figures displayed on shelves, I feel the same joy of being appreciated for my tastes regardless of my gender.
It's lousy that our culture is still so divided by boy and girl images and items. Don't get me wrong, I like that there are two sexes, two kinds of humans with different biology. I just hope that as we and our kids move through this world we can make the things we do and people we are less divided by artificial notions of male and female.
The sunny afternoon lives as one of my favorite memories because after we tossed three or four rocks, Mike paused to say something along the lines of, "Wow, you don't throw like a girl!"
I understood what he meant and beamed with pride that he noticed my arm motion was fluid and circular. Girls, it seemed, often threw a baseball, softball, or football with a jerky, sideways kind of toss that looked as if they couldn't quite lift the ball back, around, and over their shoulder.
Several decades later now, I wonder why I am still proud to NOT throw like a girl. If she gets the ball from her glove to the next player's glove, who cares what her body looks like doing it? Perhaps it has something to do with my beloved baseball being so identified with male athletes. It's just not a sport that women play after they are about 12. Yet we flock to the ballparks to cheer on our teams whether local kids or Major Leaguers. We love the game that only guys play. Therefore, if I play it like one of the guys, cool!
A friend noted recently that she was so proud of the first toy her 4 year old daughter bought with her own money. A Matchbox car. A speedy little blue convertible with white racing stripes. I haven't yet told her that I have the same exact car! Received it as a gift several Christmases ago.
I didn't fit gender stereotypes as a kid, yet I knew that girls were expected to do and be certain things. I reveled in Mike's comment because it was legitimizing my choice to play baseball instead of softball. Today, when students or co-workers visiting my office exclaim happily about my car collection, LEGO models, and Star Wars figures displayed on shelves, I feel the same joy of being appreciated for my tastes regardless of my gender.
It's lousy that our culture is still so divided by boy and girl images and items. Don't get me wrong, I like that there are two sexes, two kinds of humans with different biology. I just hope that as we and our kids move through this world we can make the things we do and people we are less divided by artificial notions of male and female.
This is great stuff, Jill! I am teaching personal writing at Laney College in Oakland, now, and plan to use this piece/blog as a model of good writing for my students. Keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteThanks, E! I am honored to think of my writing being used with students. I count you as one of my favorite writers.
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